Author results: Nick Sweeney
No Answer
WHAT
NO ANSWER
WHERE
Q BAR AND 34B, OXFORD ST, DARLINGHURST
WHEN
SAT MAY 3
HOW MUCH
$5 ENTRY BEFORE 10AM, $10 AFTER
WIN
ONE OF FIVE DOUBLE PASSES, JUST EMAIL WIN@TWOTHOUSAND.COM.AU WITH THE SUBJECT 'NO DIGNITY'. SUBSCRIBER ONLY ENTRY.
No Answer is Sydney's new Saturday night solution for those who love a great party but value their dignity. Which excludes most TwoThousand readers. With an eclectic mix of music from some of Sydney's finest (Dangerous Dan, Chicks on Deck, Health Club, Gay Bash and Mik Tha Menace), reasonably priced drinks and (finally.
Event: DJs
Stimulus: E
Fat Sandwich Shop
TwoThousand often wishes that the Harbour Bridge could be torn down. Imagine how fast coffees would be served if we didn't have to wait in line behind scrawny North Shore 'Soccer Mums' on inner city reconnaissance ordering their decaf-soy waters.
But every time we've made it past the tollbooth, strapped with explosives, we've been unable to detonate because of the one thing we'd miss: The Fat Sandwich Shop in Neutral Bay.
Gay Bash Is Dead
Gay Bash is committing social suicide by hosting its own funeral.
The final Gay Bash ever promises to be a night of mourning til morning, with all four levels of the Oxford Hotel to be filled with wailing widows, zombies, dead celebrities, maggots, sunglasses, black clothes, flowers, and casserole.
Miracle Asian Food Plaza
What is most miraculous about Miracle Asian Food Plaza is that it stocks the two most crucial staples of a modern diet: Cincalok Sauce (pureed whole shrimp and brine in a bottle complete with thousands of eyes looking out at you) and Basil Seed Tea (pictured). Purchasing either of these two liquids is as close as a non-former pageant queen can come to competing in Fear Factor.
D-listed
Perez Hilton is dead. Long live the new queen, D-listed.
From the poison pen of Michael Kay, this celebrity obsessed blog is a million times funnier and a billion times more interesting than Perezhilton.com. Unlike Perez, Michael doesn't play arbitrary favourites while scalding others: he despises them all.
Gay Bash Big Balls
WHAT
GAY BASH'S BIG BALLS
WHEN
NEW YEARS EVE
WHERE
THE OXFORD HOTEL AND WILL AND TOBY'S
HOW MUCH
$25 + B/F HERE
WIN
ONE OF FIVE DOUBLE PASSES TO BIG BALLS. JUST EMAIL WIN@TWOTHOUSAND.COM.AU WITH THE SUBJECT ‘NEW YEARS EVIL’
ASIDE FROM THE OCCASIONAL HORRIFICALLY VIOLENT HATE CRIME, TWOTHOUSAND DOESN'T MIND 'THE GAYS'. JUST AS LONG AS THEY DON'T FLAUNT IT. WHICH IS WHY IT FILLS US WITH DEEP ABHORRENCE TO REPORT THAT GAY BASH HAVE ANNOUNCED THEIR MULTI-LEVEL "BIG BALLS" NEW YEARS EVE PARTY. DRIPPING WITH ITS USUAL CHEAP INNUENDO, SYDNEY'S LEAST SUBTLE NIGHT PROMISES AN EVENING, AND MORNING, OF DEGENERACY, REMORSE, AND PERHAPS ONE DAY, FORGIVENESS.
Event: DJs
Stimulus: E
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