Author results: Penny Modra
Hitman: A Technical Manual for Independent Contractors
Tired of your sloppy contractors forgetting to chop the fingertips off their targets and leaving careless DNA evidence at the homes of your enemies? Sick of spending thousands every time you need a new silencer? Then it's time to stop outsourcing revenge.
Your dreams of living by your reflexes, doing whatever is necessary without regard to moral or legal restrictions are but a few steps away thanks to HITMAN: A TECHNICAL MANUAL FOR INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS (1983).
You Can't Always Get What You Want
"The Rolling Stones free concert is finally going to happen tomorrow at the Altamont Speedway... Apparently it's one of the most difficult things in the world to give a free concert." You can hear the smarmy radio guy being smarmy about this San Francisco show in the trailer to the Maysles brothers' Gimme Shelter.
Last Exit to Nowhere T-shirts
It's a shame that slogan T-shirts are lamer than a guy who just got stabbed in the kneecap with a wasp knife, because the other day I was inside my closet looking for the doorway to my secret den (from whence I once sent emails to prospective publishers regarding my manuscript "Hello Cleveland: A Band That Never Made It Outside Ohio") when a box toppled from the shelf, bringing with it a flood of memories.
Wilkintie
I once said the word 'letterpress' in a room full of designers and I won't be making that mistake again, not without a poncho. Blubbering, sweating, the silent tears of nostalgia. No high-volume offset process can match the emotive fluids wrought by letterpress - that 20th Century craft-printing art of the type freaks.
Penguin Bookbags
As you can see, I am pretty smart. But I find that when you look like a numnut, one thing you need is an outward sign of intelligence. This might be a pair of glasses, a T-shirt with your IQ on it, or David Sedaris in the front seat of your car.
The holy grail, of course, is an accessory that's smart AND fashion forward (sorry David.
Alphaville Sale
Just when you thought you would never own a T-shirt with River Phoenix smokin' a rollie on it, THINK AGAIN. It's the Alphaville sale (on everything except denim and scarves). Alex and Georgie are throwing their fine retail staff to the wolves (us) with discounts on frankly already-quite-affordable fashions.
Luluc, Dear Hamlyn Album Launch
WHAT
LULUC, DEAR HAMLYN ALBUM LAUNCH
WHERE
THE VANGUARD, 42 KING ST, NEWTOWN
WHEN
THUR AUG 14, 7PM
HOW MUCH
$12 + B/F HERE
WIN
A DOUBLE PASS, JUST EMAIL WIN@TWOTHOUSAND.COM.AU WITH THE SUBJECT 'DEAR LULUC'
No way to say it but nicely. Luluc have a beautifully simple new album out, recorded over more than two years in the converted attic of an old Melburnian mansion. Antique acoustic guitars, close harmonies, andun-amplified instruments. Zoë sings with folk outfit Grand Salvo, Steve helped establish fricken awesome country outfit Wagons.
Event: Bands
Stimulus: E
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