Wednesday 18 June
The best things in life are often the smallest. Small goods are just the beginning though, there's also sand and pebbles, pint-sized birthday parties and nibblies. So keep your eyes peeled, you never know what secrets you'll discover.
TwoThousand. It's the little things.
Cover photo by Kashi Mai Somers. If you would like to submit a cover shot email nadia@twothousand.com.au.
Lou Doillon for Lee Cooper
Taco Cats Wooooo shirt
Mr T on CNN
Peter Bradshaw, film reviewer
Prices by the hour
Fire balls
Flower suit
Tell us what's cool
cool@twothousand.com.au
High heels for the under 10s
LOL Cats poop shirt
Boots on a pig
Peter Harvey, Canberra
The Price is Right
Fire head
Killer bees
Tell us what's fool
fool@twothousand.com.au
Book Of Secrets
Anais Nin once said, "The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery, there is always more mystery." So, with that in mind, don't be scared to read the Book of Secrets, it'll let you know a few things but it won't spoil the surprise!
Armed with this little black book you'll be the scourge of dinner parties across the land, leaving other know-it-all dining companions Googling frantically in your wake. Whip out p.123, the secret history of Hilter's skull or p.81, the secret curse of the Brooklyn Bridge. You're guaranteed to find a quirky secret to tell people and feel smarmy about.
Format: Book
Motivation: Improve your dinner conversation
Ceduna, The Sand Pebbles
Like a scene out of Oliver Stone's sixties psyche-crapfest THE DOORS, last summer Melbourne's Sand Pebbles trekked out into the desert with a bag full of 'shrooms and kicked out some jams motherfucker! And they ended up there during Melbourne's hottest heat-wave in years. Um, oops. Hydrate dudes.
CEDUNA is their recorded result, an album of trippy, pummeling SoCal classic rock, all swooning four-part harmonies and noodling guitars. It's a mellow mood-album, nothing excitingly new but definitely emotive. And sure to be a stellar live set. Jim Morrison eat your heart out!
Release: Album
To Cure: The hangover
Keywords: Sand Pebbles, Rock, Melbourne
St Augustine Academy
WHAT
ST AUGUSTINE ACADEMY
WHERE
642 BOURKE ST, SURRY HILLS
WHEN
TUES-FRI 12PM-7PM, SAT 10AM-6PM, SUN 11AM-5PM
CONTACT
9690 2863
TwoThousand prides itself on bringing you the tried and tested. For this week's SHOP however, we've definitely tried, but leave further testing to you.
Last week St Augustine Academy opened in Surry Hills and, like candy-eyed children, we've been pressing our noses against the glass ever since trying to glean the shirts, belts, cardigans and ties within. From our current vantage point, St Augs has opted for monochrome minimalism, much like its streetwear label; straight leg trousers that won't cut your circulation; finely shaved ties and crisp white shirts.
Towards the back we can make out a tweed cardi with black lining. We just hope they have it in medium, please put in a request for us. While you're there, apologise for our handprints on the front window. We know nothing about the hams.
Product: Fashion
Anatomy: Whole body
Keywords: Surry Hills, St Augustine Academy
The Descendants
WHAT
PETRINA HICKS - THE DESCENDANTS
WHERE
STILLS GALLERY
36 GOSBELL ST, PADDINGTON
WHEN
18 JUN-19 JUL TUES-SAT, 11AM-6PM. OPENING SAT 21 JUN, 3PM-5PM. ARTIST TALK SAT 5 JUL, 2PM
CONTACT
9331 7775 OR WWW.STILLSGALLERY.COM.AU
W.C. Fields once said, "never work with children or animals," but he was a strange man. Petrina Hicks works with both, and she does it well. She's a master of ambiguity - traversing lines between truth and falseness, perfection and imperfection, innocence and cynicism.
With starkly simple compositions, flat antiseptic lighting and extensive digital manipulations, her subjects are impossibly neat, excessively flawless, and somehow dehumanised. Situated somewhere between human and computer creation, they appear distanced and isolated.
Reminiscent of the uncomfortable formality of studio portraiture, she creates worlds that are choreographed and self-contained, with very little left to chance. The sterile artificiality, glossy depthlessness and controlled surface of her images give them an unsettling eeriness...
Opening this week, her solo show THE DESCENDANTS will also include a recent series of video portraits, giving rotating 360 degree views of static subjects.
Medium: Photography
Drink: Bottle of red
Keywords: Paddington, Stills Gallery, Photography
Mongol
WHAT
MONGOL
WHEN
OPENS JUNE 19
WHERE
DENDY CINEMAS
PALACE CINEMAS
WATCH THE TRAILER
HERE
WIN
ONE OF TEN DOUBLE PASSES, JUST EMAIL WIN@TWOTHOUSAND.COM.AU WITH THE SUBJECT 'I'M GENGHIS KHAN'S ANCESTOR'. SUBSCRIBER ENTRY ONLY
Picture the screenwriters: they're brainstorming up the new Genghis Khan biopic and need some way to make the infamous 13th century Mongolian conqueror likeable for modern audiences. Witty catchphrase? Cute animal sidekick? What about Genghis Khan: Family Man?
Don't worry. There's still enough swordplay, revenge, battlefield tactics and bright-red blood here to warm the hearts of anyone who spent hours drawing complicated battle scenes in the backs of their schoolbooks. And the widescreen landscapes - carved by wind and rain, not CGI nerds - are truly epic.
(A classy side-effect of MONGOL's Russian production is that it's actually spoken in Mongolian; something that, failing some Mel Gibson-style craziness, Hollywood would never allow.)
Despite some odd pacing, it's an engaging enough attempt at a ‘Genghis Begins' origin story. When your hero is someone who raped his way across half the world - and has an estimated 16 million descendants today - it's tricky to accept him as a sensitive, one-true-love warrior. As Part One in an already-conceived trilogy, though, the most interesting material in MONGOL is still to come.
Format: Cinema
Mood: Epic
Keywords: Genghis Khan
Vivienne Westwood for Melissa
WHAT
VIVIENNE WESTWOOD FOR MELISSA
WHEN
THEY SAY JUNE 15, SO WE'RE GIVING YOU TIME TO SAVE AND PERMISSION TO START NAGGING THE BELOW STOCKISTS AFTER THAT DATE.
WHERE
BEAUTIFUL ON THE INSIDE, 45/322 BOURKE ST, SURRY HILLS
SOMEDAYS, 72B FITZROY ST, SURRY HILLS
Artistic collaborations are a pretty sweet thing. Matthew Barney and Björk, Andy Warhol and Lou Reed... Starbucks and Sonic Youth.
'Anglomania' is the love child of one such collaboration, between the queen of punk, Ms Vivienne Westwood, and the cult of Brazilian footwear, Melissa- also the brains behind the original jelly sandal invented in '79.(Remember those hot-pink jellies you bought when you were 16 because Charlene Mitchell had a pair and even though they were the shoe equivalent of a greenhouse they made your feet look bitchin'?)
This limited-edition collection features two designs: a re-creation of the classic Westwood Mary-Jane, made of patented PVC, and the ever-popular ‘ultragirl' slip on, made of either velvet or PVC with a signature Westwood tartan or rose print on the insole. Packed full of punk 'tude with bubble gum juju, you won't be sure whether to kick someone or chew on them. Fashion ponies get set: ‘Anglomania' landed on the shores of OZ this week. It'll be 1974 all over again.
Product: Accessories
Theft: Theft is a risk
The Cheese Shop
WHAT
THE CHEESE SHOP [DELI AND CAFE]
WHERE
797 MILITARY ROAD, MOSMAN
WHEN
MON-WED 8.30AM-6PM, THUR 8.30AM-7PM, FRI 8.30AM-6.30PM, SAT 8AM-6PM, SUN 8.30AM-5PM
HOW MUCH
PRICE VARIES PER KG
CONTACT
9969 4969
For over 200 years there has been an annual Cheese Rolling contest held in Gloucestershire, England, which draws crowds of up to 5,000 people. As the name suggests, a giant wheel of cheese is rolled down a hill (it travels at 70 miles per hour!!) followed by a throng of dong dongs. The result is a concussed cousin of camembert, and a bunch of brave but bruised competitors.
For the fastidious fromagephile, the act of rolling cheese is sacrilege. Watching that 7-8 lb Double Gloucester tumble down a dirty and muddy mountain would definitely command a visit to The Cheese Shop for some faith renewal. With displays built high from goats, dairy, local and international cheese varieties, The Cheese Shop is simply heaven for anyone with a formaggio inclined palette.
Venue: Café
Meal: Snacktastic
Fireplaces
WHAT
FIREPLACES
WHERE
THE LORD DUDLEY, 236 JERSEY RD, WOOLHARA
POLO LOUNGE @ WILL & TOBY'S, 134 OXFORD ST, DARLINGHURST
LIBERTINE, 1 KELLET ST, KINGS CROSS
THE 3 WEEDS, 197 EVANS ST, ROZELLE
THE CLUB BAR, PARK HYATT, 7 HICKSON RD, MILLERS POINT
WHEN
COLD, GUSTY NIGHTS
HOW MUCH
THE PRICE OF A DRINK
Nothing much has changed since we were Cro-Magnon. In an irresistable manner, cooling weather still kicks in our primal human desire for warmth, and that means fire. Thanks to the minor achievement that is civilisation, we can now have fires in bars instead of caves.
However, in all his infinite wisdom, The Man stripped us of Baron's and its hallowed fireplace, thereby removing our city's go-to location to warm our loins and play out fantasies of aristocratic withdrawing.
That doesn't mean we have to shiver, whimpering, in the cold. From the slinkily stylish to the sumptuously opulent, there's still some places offering the winter necessity that is a well-stocked fireplace. TwoThousand brings you a grab bag.
Ambience: Indoor
Difficulty: Won't hurt a bit
Keywords: Fireplaces, Winter
Small Goods
WHAT
SMALL GOODS
WHERE
PALMER PROJECTS GALLERY
2/238 PALMER ST, DARLINGHURST
WHEN
THUR 19 JUN, 6PM-9PM
HOW MUCH
FREE
Palmer Projects had a vision to offer a blank canvas of creative space, which is much better than being a blank canvas. Canvas cliché's aside Mike Bennett and the Du Chateau brothers, Myles and Luka have set up a classically simple gallery and concept space in the heart of Darlinghurst and are christening it with a group show that's far from classical. SMALL GOODS shows off their contemporary roots with the likes of Ben Frost, Trent Whitehead, Loveariel, Darko and Mark Drew all teaming up to fill the stark white walls. With Dj Bad Teeth in attendance too it's possible you'll be drawing blanks the next day. - GK
Event: Exhibition
Stimulus: A
Keywords: Darlinghurst, Exhibition, Palmer Projects
Talons
WHAT
TALONS W/ DIAMOND BACK RATTLERS
WHERE
CLUB 77, 77 WILLIAM ST KINGS CROSS
WHEN
THUR JUNE 19, 9PM
HOW MUCH
$10
There are times you might go to see a band because you're friends with the bassist, or you feel like a couple of drinks, or your crush is going to be there. But then there are the times to go to a show because you want to be punched in the face by a relentless barrage of noise and sweat. Such is the case with Talons, who can deliver on the above. Don't worry, they're rather polite about it afterwards. - VH
Event: Bands
Stimulus: C
Keywords: Kings Cross, Talons, Club 77, Bands
12 x 12
WHAT
12X12
WHERE
AMBUSH GALLERY, 4A JAMES ST, WATERLOO
WHEN
FRI JUN 20, 6 - 9PM
HOW MUCH
FREE
A whole 12x12 box of fresh produce has arrived just in time to pep us up for the weekend. WATIM is presenting Jeremyville, who is straight off the plane and in his new collaborative cons, Sam Smith who has been doing some great stuff with VonZipper, and ten other artists who are all doing some amazing things in the scene at the moment. If you can't make opening night, try to head down before it closes on Saturday July 5. - KB
Event: Exhibition
Stimulus: W
Keywords: Exhibition, Art, Waterloo
Heavy Metal In Baghdad - Vice
WHAT
HEAVY METAL IN BAGHDAD - VICE 5TH BIRTHDAY
WHERE
METRO THEATRE
624 GEORGE ST, SYDNEY
WHEN
FRI JUNE 20, 8.30PM
HOW MUCH
$20 HERE
WIN
ONE DOUBLE PASS TO THE SCREENING AND PARTY. JUST EMAIL WIN@TWOTHOUSAND.COM.AU WITH THE SUBJECT ‘ACRASSICAUDA'. SUBSCRIBER ENTRY ONLY.
Birthday parties are usually a bit of fun, aren't they? Especially when you're at the age when the biggest thing you have to worry about is whether to colour in the elephant on the page purple or green. Vice Australia is turning five, though to we have a feeling there won't be any frosted cupcakes at their party. Instead, they're screening their debut film HEAVY METAL IN BAGHDAD, which follows Iraq's only heavy metal band, Acrassicauda as they struggle to fulfil their metal dreams. Brooklyn's Telepathe will no doubt keep the festivities going well into the AM. - VH
Event: Film
Stimulus: C
The Berlin Sessions
WHAT
THE BERLIN SESSIONS
WHERE
CIVIC HOTEL
388 PITT ST, CITY
WHEN
SAT 21 JUN, 9PM
HOW MUCH
$30 +B/F HERE
WIN
ONE OF TWO DOUBLE PASSES. JUST EMAIL WIN@TWOTHOUSAND WITH THE SUBJECT ‘TLTT'. SUBSCRIBER ENTRY ONLY
We're not sure if there's an e-newsletter of our ilk in Berlin yet but if there was to be then we have its name - 10001-14199, more colloquially known as the THE LOW TEN THOUSANDS. TLTT would no doubt feature Berlin locals Jazzanova, Quarion and Heiko Laux on a regular basis because of their world class Dj and production skills. To show-off the Berlin underground they're turning the Civic into a mini festival, all three levels, a laneway and a rooftop will play host to some of the best club music you'll hear this side of... well, Berlin. - GK
Event: DJs
Stimulus: E
Keywords: Civic Hotel, City, Berlin
TORPEDO VOLUME 2, is the new assemblage of fiction, graphic fiction and illustration from Falcon vs. Monkey Falcon Wins. With a host of American contributors, this edition reflects a style of writing made popular by McSweeney's and THIS AMERICAN LIFE.
Like any work that groups varied contributions, TORPEDO delivers a mix of the cutting edge and the overdone. Design and illustration wise, this volume is distinctly boy-flavoured, but there is much pith here beyond aesthetics. Our preferences include Luke May's strange piece set at Hanging Rock, Josephine Rowe's three-part elegy and Tony D'Souza's satirical ‘11/9', which asks the real question: after Obama, will the next president be Condi Rice or John Travolta?
Thanks to the charming Chris Flynn, we have one copy to give away. To be in the running, just answer the following question.
This week's question:
Falcon vs Monkey,
a) Call the zoo keepers
b) Falcon wins
c) WWF smackdown
d) Feathers in your banana
Send your answer, name and mailing address to win@twothousand.com.au. Winners will be notified via email. Subscriber only entry. Not a subscriber? No sweat, sign up here.
TwoThousand is a weekly snapshot of Sydney's subculture, fired byemail into the loving arms of people who realise that the best things in life are often hard to find. It is compiled by an amorphous gaggle of writers, stylists, designers and photographers who all like huddling under that big umbrella we like to call creativity. Without editorial independence TwoThousand has nothing. All editorial you read is featured because it's worth it - not because it's paid for.
ADVERTISING PARTNERSHIPS
TwoThousand is a trusted and proven medium for advertisers to engage with Sydney's most elusive individuals - our subscribers. Each issue offers one advertiser the opportunity to have sole presence in the e-newsletter. A variety of placements (three, to be exact) are also available on twothousand.com.au. For more information on advertising with TwoThousand contact Francesco at frunch@rightanglepublishing.com and Robbie at robert@rightanglepublishing.com.
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Have something to say? Then say it by emailing editorial@twothousand.com.au.
DISCLAIMER
The information in TwoThousand is subject to change. Although we attempt to ensure that the content at the time of publication is correct, we do not guarantee its accuracy or currency. Right Angle Publishing accepts no responsibility to you or anyone else arising from any use or reliance on the information contained in TwoThousand or any inaccuracy in the information. The views and opinions expressed on material included in TwoThousand may not reflect those of Right Angle Publishing.
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Surry Hills, NSW, 2010
p. (02) 9280 1557
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Barrie Barton
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EDITOR
Nadia Saccardo
nadia@twothousand.com.au
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Gabriel Knowles
gabe@twothousand.com.au
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Hayley Morgan
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MUSIC EDITOR
Wilfred Brandt
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Martyn Pedler
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Amelia Groom
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Sweetie
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Penny Modra
Isabel Dunstan
Kylie Boyd
Kashi Somers
Alex Vitlin
Sarah Jane Owen
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Esther van Doornum
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jill@twothousand.com.au
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