WEDNESDAY 9 JULY
"I have got six sisters. They can be very annoying. Whether or not they conducted themselves in their usual way at the Opera House during World Youth Day, [or if] the police would arrest them is a question I can't answer." Hugh Macken, World Today
Like Hugh Macken's sisters, you too, are annoying. Over the next week, you could also be arrested for it if you do the following:
Listen to these dudes
Encourage safe sex
Wear this T-shirt
Ride one of these
Drink from this (in public)
TwoThousand. Bad behaviour
Also up now on the TwoThousand website...
EATDRINK Mille Vini
HEAR You Look Nice Today (podcast)
MIXTAPE Where The Wild Things Are
READ Liveable cities
Cover photo by Jocelin Abbey. If you would like to submit a cover shot email nadia@twothousand.com.au
Camera page
Takeshi Tsunemoto’s Graniph design
Girl Talk, Feed the Animals
Gumby banging horses 3
Western spaghetti
Imagine the green is red
Young Love
The Gruen Transfer
Hammer + Tong
NBA trickery
Tell us what's cool
cool@twothousand.com.au
Laneways
Catholic children’s costume design
Chanel "Rehab bags"
GBH tea
Chicken bullions
Imagine the Segway fights crime
One Love TV
The gay replacement
Thongs
Shaq-fu
Tell us what's fool
fool@twothousand.com.au
The Walking Dead
WHAT
THE WALKING DEAD
WHERE
KINGS COMICS, 310 PITT ST, CITY
MINOTAUR ONLINE
WHEN
ISSUE #50 OUT NOW, BUT START FROM VOLUME #1
HOW MUCH
$18.95 PER VOLUME
Here's something that annoys me about interesting stuff: as soon as it gets juicy, it's all over. This truth I apply across the board to relationships, independent publishing, acne, everything. But especially to zombie movies. So many questions are still left unanswered in this, the greatest of genres.
For instance: What happens? Do zombies just eventually starve? 28 DAYS LATER would have us believe so. But Romero's zombies keep on going until they've learnt how to use tools and facilitate minority uprisings. And will the humans eventually rebuild their lives? In the malls and housing estates they have colonised? Or will their own murderous ids take over to the point that they're spearing Joe Schmoe for not putting the toilet seat down? Robert Kirkman answers these questions and more in his genius comic THE WALKING DEAD.
At the outset, he says, "Good zombie movies show us how messed up we are ...THE WALKING DEAD will be the zombie movie that never ends." The only thing I can tell you about these comics without spoiling anything is that there are many amputations. Perhaps too many. But, as they say, better to live one-legged than die undead.
Format: Comics
Motivation: Kill twenty minutes dead
Viva Voce, Viva Voce Loves You
Wouldn't it be great if you could compile just the BEST bits of your life? Leave all the embarrassing pratfalls, mysterious stains, and tacky break-up convos on the cutting room floor?
On VIVA VOCE LOVES YOU, Portland husband-and-wife duo Viva Voce do just that. A compilation of the best tracks from their three full-length albums, this is all killer, no filler.
With an upbeat boy/girl indie rock sound at their base, VV's branch far out, man, to include heavy Stooges noise, spacey Flaming Lips soft rock - even soul (check out 'The Center of the Universe' and 'High Highs'). Lacking a signature sound may make it harder to get to know Viva Voce, but with their terrific songwriting skills, it's hard to forget them. Viva Viva Voce!!
Release: Album
To Cure: A predictable playlist
Chess Discount Sales
WHAT
CHESS DISCOUNT SALES
WHERE
BASEMENT LEVEL, 72 CAMPBELL ST, SURRY HILLS
WHEN
MON-FRI 9AM-5PM, THUR 9AM-7PM, SAT 9AM-1PM
CONTACT
INFO@CHESSDISCOUNTSALES.COM OR 9211 2994
It feels contradictory to feature this shop. Its innocuously placed signs require, at the very least, a second glance to figure out where they point; while the basement locale almost suggests the store doesn't want to be found. But once down the stairs and through the door your persistence is rewarded with chess. And only chess. There are sets in wood, marble, glass, SIMPSONS replica, classical and competition standard. Then there are the books, more books, and a few DVDs - all chess related of course.
If there is an order to this shop, then it's the same kind of order as a teenager's bedroom. Every single piece has its place amongst the sprawling mass of chess paraphernalia, and the staff know exactly where it is. Just how would you go about training your brain to think that way?
Product: Gadgets
Anatomy: Brain
Keywords: Surry Hills, Chess
Till Death Do Us Part, Angelique Houtkamp
WHAT
TILL DEATH DO US PART, ANGELIQUE HOUTKAMP
WHERE
OUTRÉ GALLERY, 13A BURTON ST, DARLINGHURST
WHEN
OPENS THUR JUL 10, 6.30PM
JUL 10-JUL 27
CONTACT
9332 2776 OR WWW.OUTREGALLERY.COM
People sometimes do imprudent things in Amsterdam. Things they come to rue. If you find yourself there contemplating a tattoo, you might want to think again. Unless, that is, you're able to get an appointment with the Dutch tattoo artist, painter and shoe designer Angelique Houtkamp at Rob Admiraals Studio.
Her bold lines, uncluttered compositions and simple shading evoke the simplicity and flatness of old school tattoo culture. With a unique style that's instantly recognisable, she also sticks to the classic motifs like snakes, daggers, swallows, black panthers, horseshoes, sailors, skulls, pirates, mermaids, broken hearts and busty pin up girls with red lips, long legs and sad eyes.
Following the recent release of her book TATTOO DARLING, published by Outré, a selection of her latest work will be on show at Outré Gallery this week, suggesting stories of nostalgia, seduction, twisted iconography, lost love, melancholy, mystery and mythology.
Medium: Illustration
Drink: Bottle of red
Keywords: Tattoo, Outre Gallery, Angelique Houtkamp
Heavy Metal Parking Lot
WHAT
HEAVY METAL PARKING LOT
WHERE
FOR SALE AT ALL LOCAL MUSIC OUTLETS, DISTRIBUTED BY STOMP
WATCH THE TRAILER
HERE
WIN
ONE OF THREE COPIES. JUST EMAIL WIN@TWOTHOUSAND.COM.AU WITH THE SUBJECT LINE, "PRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEST!" (THAT'S 13 ES, THANKS)
In 1986, before headbangers were (ironically) hip, when camera crews were still a novelty worth cavorting drunkenly before, a dude from D.C. borrowed some gear from the local TV station where he worked and went down to the sports arena before the big Judas Priest show. The rest is heavy metal history.
A favourite on the Nirvana tour bus, HEAVY METAL PARKING LOT used to circulate in lovingly fan-dubbed videotapes. Now this bona fide cult classic is finally available on DVD. It's 17 minutes of heavily quotable, hilariously decadent, high-ly fashionable and oddly life-affirming rock and roll enthusiasm.
With extras like Neil Diamond Parking Lot, Harry Potter Parking Lot, a Where-Are-they-now doco, and a DVD approximation of a 10th dub VHS copy, you'll wonder how you ever lived without.
Format: DVD
Mood: Nostalgic
Keywords: Heavy Metal, America
The Returnable Wine Bottle
WHAT
THE RETURNABLE WINE BOTTLE
WHERE
AT SELECTED BOTTLESHOPS
WHEN
EVERY DAY. BUT MORE THAN FOUR IS BINGE DRINKING
HOW MUCH
FROM $12.99
Something I enjoy on a Monday morning is comparing my neighbour's recycling bin with my own - trying to gauge who's had the biggest weekend based on the assortment of bottles. Recycling empties is important. It justifies a weekend binge because, in the end, you're giving something back to the environment.
An Australian company who shares this thinking has introduced The Returnable Wine Bottle. Now, poison is provided in a vessel that can be returned for a $3 discount on the next purchase. There are red, white and rose local varieties. These come in stylish bottles with the tricky flip tops that could also double as a vase (if you decide to not make the return).
Now all we need is a refill truck a-la milkman to deliver the drop direct to our door.
Product: Food
Theft: Theft is inevitable: Buy two
Keywords: Environmental, Wine
The Little Marionette
WHAT
THE LITTLE MARIONETTE
WHERE
1A BOOTH ST, BALMAIN
WHEN
MON-FRI 6.30AM-4PM, SAT 7AM-4PM, SUN 8AM-4PM
CONTACT
9810 9728
The ultimate nerd dream goes something like this:
1. Infiltrate others with chosen obsession
2. Train and prime the masses
3. Gather new army
4. Sit for hours talking about said obsession
In Balmain, this dream is in action. All the better for us, because it involves coffee. Executed in a warm, nooked, muffin-filled space, the hatted kids of TLM make coffee, sell coffee and teach coffee...they pretty much live coffee.
Drop into their coffee convention, pick up a 'cup of love', a blanket, and head to the park across the road for some fine coffee obsessing - costume optional.
Venue: Eatery
Meal: All day
WYD Pope Watch
How patronising is the Pope? Bouncing around in his Popemobile, waving and smiling and pandering to everyone behind three inches of bullet-proof plexiglass. Now that's faith in action! I must say though, Ratzinger certainly does rock the holy garb in style. With his flowing white wizard robe and blinged-out, over-sized cross; he looks more like the Holy Flavor Flav than the Holy Father.
Next week the Pope is coming to town... and ladies, he's single. For six days, Sydney will be attacked from land, sea and air, as Christian 'pilgrims' journey from near and far to get a glimpse of God's Dick Cheney. A rather fitting analogy I think, especially after seeing the Pope walking hand-in-hand with George Dubya last year. If you want to see The Ponificator in action for Christian Woodstock, he'll be taking up residence at St Mary's Cathedral House, a.k.a The Crypt. From there, he'll tour Sydney; visiting handicapped children, talking shop with Canberra, praying, etc. He'll also hit up the Victoria Barracks to embark on a 'fly-around' of the 'Southern Cross Precinct'. Does anyone even know where or what that is? Another convenient WYD invention we're sure. The finale for this pageant will be held at The Randwick Racecourse on the 21st. The book depository is just across the road...
Ambience: Outdoor
Difficulty: Exertion will pay off
Keywords: Holy
The Workings So Far, Aline Joyce
WHAT
THE WORKINGS SO FAR, ALINE JOYCE
WHERE
OUR MISHMASH, 11 CURLEWIS ST, BONDI BEACH
WHEN
OPENS THURS JUL 10, 7PM-10PM
HOW MUCH
FREE
Listen here. Bondi Beach now has a place where all pale, hatted and sun-fearing urban folk can relax without fear of fake tan or sunstroke. The spot is Our Mishmash, a ‘70s-coffee-shop-come-boutique that bakes muffins, brews Morgan's and keeps WON and ANDROGYNY on the tables. This Thursday night, Mishmash opens its first art exhibition courtesy of Aline Joyce's painted hand and music from Aidan Roberts of the Maple Trail. Fingers crossed for them muffins. - NS
Event: Exhibition
Stimulus: W
Keywords: Bondi, Art, Exhibition, MishMash
Lions At Your Door
WHAT
LIONS AT YOUR DOOR FAREWELL SHOW
WHERE
HOPETOUN HOTEL, 418 BOURKE ST, SURRY HILLS
WHEN
THUR JUL 10, 8PM
HOW MUCH
$10
Office going away parties usually involve a bunch of your ‘work friends' awkwardly huddling around your table with an oversized card, dry cake, and some tedious conversation. On the other hand, band going away parties feature sweat, riffs, ladies, stage invasions, and f-u-n. Lions At Your Door will bring it. Get amongst it before they begin their Japan jaunt. - VH
Event: Bands
Stimulus: A
Keywords: Bands, The Hopetoun, Surry Hills, Indie
Noche De Fuego
Who could forget the scene in DIRTY DANCING where a pre-cancerous Patrick Swayze teaches a pre-rhinoplasty Jennifer Grey the mambo? Lord knows the image must have been burned onto Baby's daddy's retinas. Now, finally, comes the chance to shock our own fathers with something other than pregnancy or unsavoury piercings. Literally meaning ‘night of fire' this salsa-dance-a-thon promises to steam up the Manning Bar with some extra picante performances from both amateurs and pros. Take notes - nobody puts Baby in a corner. - JG
Event: Exhibition
Stimulus: A
Keywords: Salsa, Dancing, Mannning Bar
Spit Syndicate
WHAT
SPIT SYNDICATE TOWARDS THE LIGHT ALBUM LAUNCH
WHERE
OXFORD ART FACTORY, 38-46 OXFORD ST, DARLINGHURST
WHEN
SAT JUL 12, 8PM
HOW MUCH
$13 + BF (MOSHTIX) OR $20 AT DOOR
Spit Syndicate is the freshest thing to come out of Aussie hip-hop since, well, ever. At the ages of 19 and 20 respectively, Nick Lupi and Just Enuf have racked up an impressive track record of support shows, playing with some of the biggest names in the game, including Xzibit, People Under The Stairs, Ice Cube and Lupe Fiasco. After the success of their 2005 mixtape, THE FUTURE'S BRIGHT, Spit Syndicate have since been working on their debut LP, TOWARDS THE LIGHT, which hit stores June 21. This Saturday though, The Oxford Art Factory is hosting a launch party for the duo, so skeet-skeet, bang-bang, bitches - DW
Event: Launch
Stimulus: A
Keywords: Darlinghurst, Spit Syndicate, Oxford Art Factory
Hey man, there is a sale on all tops at the Chip Chop
website, like right now. This includes tees, singlets and baseball styles from current and past seasons. OK, for those of you who are still reading: Hannah Chipkin, foundress of Australia's chipperest label, has offered us an amazing top to give away. It's a T-shirt that commemorates a terrible biblical battle between a Philistine the would-be king of Israel who beat Bart to the slingshot. We hope it will inspire you to check out the rest of Chip Chop's wares. Sale items include the classic ‘Ciao Sexy Pizza' , the retro ‘Paris ‘87' and the chic ‘Oui Oui'. To enter, just answer the following question.
This week's question:
David...
a) Never meant to pose naked, he left his pants in the cab
b) Wore Goliath's foreskin as a hat
c) Knew karate
d) Is in your Judah, killing your Philistines
Send your answer, size and mailing address to win@twothousand.com.au. Subscriber only entry. Not a subscriber, no sweat. Sign up here. Winners will be notified by email.
TwoThousand is a weekly snapshot of Sydney's subculture, fired byemail into the loving arms of people who realise that the best things in life are often hard to find. It is compiled by an amorphous gaggle of writers, stylists, designers and photographers who all like huddling under that big umbrella we like to call creativity. Without editorial independence TwoThousand has nothing. All editorial you read is featured because it's worth it - not because it's paid for.
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The information in TwoThousand is subject to change. Although we attempt to ensure that the content at the time of publication is correct, we do not guarantee its accuracy or currency. Right Angle Publishing accepts no responsibility to you or anyone else arising from any use or reliance on the information contained in TwoThousand or any inaccuracy in the information. The views and opinions expressed on material included in TwoThousand may not reflect those of Right Angle Publishing.
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