THURSDAY 14 AUGUST
Balloon man: psst, kid! over here!
Kid: what you want balloon man?
Balloon man: pick a colour, any colour and it's yours...
Kid: mine? um, I dunno. Maybe...
Balloon man: don't be yella! Or I'll smack yo ass scarlet. You could paint a rainbow right here, you mood-disordered green hairy homeless person!
Kid: ok. Gold?
Balloon man: I ain't got no gold.
TwoThousand. Go for gold
On the site now:
MIXTAPE The Olympic Tracks
STRAY There's A Hole In My Bucket
READ Pornocracy
GOODS Very busy, Very important badges
Cover photo by Robbie Whitehead. If you would like to submit a cover shot email nadia@twothousand.com.au
When You Are Engulfed In Flames, David Sedaris
WHAT
WHEN YOU ARE ENGULFED IN FLAMES
WHO
DAVID SEDARIS
WHERE
ALL GOOD BOOKSTORES
HOW MUCH
RRP$32.99
WIN
ONE OF THREE DOUBLE PASSES TO DAVID SEDARIS'S SOLD OUT TALK AT THE OPERA HOUSE ON MON AUG 18, 6.30PM. JUST EMAIL WIN@TWOTHOUSAND.COM.AU WITH THE SUBJECT 'CATHETER ON THE OUTSIDE'
Reading David Sedaris is like sharing those rare moments with friends; when you laugh so hard at someone's self-deprecating recollection of their misfortune that your eyes bleed. It's also like you've been reborn in a world where you're wearing an external catheter designed for sports fans because you like to accessorise.
That's one of Sedaris's stranger recollections in his new book WHEN YOU ARE ENGULFED IN FLAMES. It's a credit to his ability as a writer that an audience can empathise with his bizarre habits.
For the uninitiated, David Sedaris is an autobiographical writer whose prose shares intimate, personal experiences in a unique, sardonic way. He's known as a contributor to THIS AMERICAN LIFE and NPR, and has a couple of Grammy nominations under his sleeve. He's going to be reading live at the Opera House next week. Catheters are optional.
Format: Book
Motivation: Good with a whiskey in the bath
Keywords: This American Life, David Sedaris, Sydney Opera House
Devotion, Beach House
Baltimore girlfriend/boyfriend duo Beach House have achieved an increasingly difficult feat; they've created a sound that is both instantly recognisable yet entirely new. Like a new buddy at a party you feel like you've known for years.
Their second album, DEVOTION, combines the atmosphere of David Lynch's creepy small town Americana with the fifties girl groups on Quaaludes. You could say it sounds like 'Sunday Morning' by The Velvet Underground crossed with Mazzy Star and '50s classic 'Sleep Walk' by Santo and Johnny. But that doesn't do justice to their strange, melancholy world, where carousels are evil, sleigh bells are sinister, and LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRARIE is played by a cast of zombies. Fun huh?
Release: Album
To Cure: Hypertension
Keywords: Beach House, America
We're
Cairns is known for its barrier reef, its melting mercury and its cruise ships. It's definitely not known for progressive fashion, because, we imagine, everyone's too busy downing XXXX in string bikinis.
Damien and Lorena at We're believe that stinking weather shouldn't stifle style - and they have Keep Shoes, Life With Bird, Tiny Mammoth and Chronicles on their side. They know what they're on about. Damien comes with a design portfolio that includes Deus, Supply and Rittenhouse, while their store philosophy hinges on quality, accessibility and building cultural capital by way of zines and creative projects.
For those of us south and souther, We're is also online. Iggy & Lou Lou, Colab and Antipodium are up now. PAM and Romance Was Born will make an appearance later in the month. For the full experience, pick up a XXXX and start clicking, but skip the bikini - that would be creepy.
Product: Fashion
Anatomy: Heart
ECR
WHAT
ECR
WHERE
PERFORMANCE SPACE AT CARRIAGEWORKS, 245 WILSON STREET, EVELEIGH
WHEN
RUNS UNTIL SEPT 6
WED-SAT, NOON-8PM
PERFORMANCES WITH SPECIAL GUESTS EACH SAT 7PM-8PM
CONTACT
8571 9099 OR WWW.CARRIAGEWORKS.COM.AU
Marley Dawson and Christopher Hanrahan, a pair of Sydney-based artists/petrol-heads, have been known to shift their art practice into unfamiliar territory - such as the last demolition derbies at Parramatta City Raceway. But for their new installation/performance work, they've shifted an unfamiliar territory into a contemporary arts venue.
An ambiguous acronym standing for Eveleigh City Raceway, ECR is an operable dirt-bike track replete with dust, fumes and the heady sounds of the speedway, currently open in Bay 19 of our favourite converted rail yard, CarriageWorks.
Here's the best bit: for the next few weeks Dawson and Hanrahan will be inviting local artists, art critics and curators to partake in a series of dirt bike duels. Transporting their creative differences out of the galleries and arts pages and into the gritty, sweaty and raucous space of the sporting arena, the combatants will be facing off against each other, revving, stalling and mastering sweet jumps. Intrigued? We all are...
Medium: Installation
Drink: Long neck in a paper bag
Keywords: Exhibition, Bikes, Carriageworks
Not Quite Hollywood
WHAT
NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD
WHERE
DENDY NEWTOWN
WHEN
OPENS AUG 28
WATCH THE TRAILER
HERE
WIN
ONE OF 10 DOUBLE PASSES. JUST EMAIL WIN@TWOTHOUSAND.COM.AU WITH THE SUBJECT 'SAY NO TO ERNEST ART WANK'. SUBSCRIBER ONLY ENTRY. SIGN UP HERE
It's ironic that some of the most recognisable faces in NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD are American. Why does Quentin Tarantino know more about Australian genre cinema than we do? A nationwide awkwardness about our own film history has distracted us from this stash of glittery fool's gold for far too long.
This Melbourne-produced celebration of the glory days of '70s and '80s Australian trash film captures the devil-may-care gleefulness of its subject matter.
Some of these titles may be familiar from recent DVD releases, but others - FAIR GAME, CENTRESPREAD, LADY STAY DEAD and DEAD END DRIVE-IN - will be hazy recollections of VHS-hire, memories faded as the quality of their prints.
This is Pop Culture History 101 for Australian audiences. NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD should be screened on a 24-hour loop on all major television networks until we as a country sign a contract promising to never let the sombre, earnest art-wank of films like SOMERSAULT, JAPANESE STORY and PICNIC AT HANGING ROCK distract us from gems like RAZORBACK, PATRICK and NEXT OF KIN ever again.
Format: Cinema
Mood: Rad
Keywords: Australian, tarantino
Sparkle Cupcakery
WHAT
SPARKLE CUPCAKERY
WHERE
132 FOVEAUX ST, SURRY HILLS
WHEN
TUE-FRI 8AM-6PM, SAT 9AM-6PM, SUN 10AM-6PM, FOR NOW
HOW MUCH
$4.50 EACH OR $25 FOR SIX
CONTACT
9361 0690
According to Kathryn, the owner of Sparkle Cupcakery, Sydneysiders are far more sophisticated than New Yorkers. She would know. She used to run a bakery in downtown NYC, and was made to suffer straight chocolate and vanilla while dreaming of lychee and lavender. Sparkle's Sydney cupcakes have a very unique flavour. Both store and cake are highly designed, with a colour coded dot system to separate the 'lavender and honey' from the 'oriental flower'. You feel like you're in a life-sized 'join the dots', where winners take the cake. Sparkle even designates certain cupcakes for certain times of the day, the 'morning glory' and the 'afternoon delight' make choosing just one a little easier.
Now that you've chosen a cupcake (or two), you need a drink. There are all the expected options, including chai, but Sparkle also brews a fine green tea latte and dark hot chocolate. The cupcakery is licensed too, with a menu flooded with Moet & Chandon. Just imagine how sophisticated you'll look... New York doesn't know what it's missing.
Product: Food
Theft: Theft is inevitable: Buy two
Keywords: Cafe, Surry Hills, Cupcakes
Yulli's
WHAT
YULLI'S
WHERE
479 CROWN ST, SURRY HILLS
WHEN
TUE-FRI, 11AM-11PM. SAT-SUN, 9AM-11PM
CONTACT
9319 6609
Those new licensing laws are finally starting to kick in and small bars are popping up all over the place. The latest addition is the wine bar/restaurant/café Yulli's. Like a caped crusader of hospitality, Yulli serves coffee by day (and breakfast on the weekends) before dimming the lights and switching to wine bar by night.
A classic, modern menu featuring hand cut chips, plates of haloumi and ever-popular Mexican is on hand throughout the day. Which is just what you'll need if you get stuck into the 25 odd beers and god knows how many wines on the well-curated drinks menu...Now there's almost too much to choose from.
Venue: Bar
Meal: Party Time
Keywords: Surry Hills, Wine
Sando Art Mart
WHAT
SANDO ART MART
WHERE
387 KING STREET, NEWTOWN
WHEN
LAST SATURDAY OF EACH MONTH
HOW MUCH
TABLES $10. MUST REGISTER BY WEDNESDAY PRIOR TO THE WEEKEND
CONTACT
KIM KIM@SANDO.COM.AU, 9557 1254 FOR A REGISTRATION FORM OR GET ONE FROM THE BAR
Booze and art share a long and unassuming history, ranging from coaster origami to the stereotypical 'struggling artist' drowning their sorrows. Many artists claim to produce their best work whilst wrapped around a bottle, so the advent of a pub as an art mart venue seems like an obvious extension of this relationship.
A rough-and-tumble establishment like the iconic Sando makes an interesting patron of the up-and-coming arts. Yet, despite being characterised by the rock regulars and weekly metal gigs, the pub also hosts a monthly Art Mart open to anyone with creative license.
Pre-registration is a must, and the organisers encourage responsible creation and consumption of art - especially under the influence of alcohol.
Ambience: Indoor
Difficulty: Exertion will pay off
The Return of Good God
WHAT
THE RETURN OF GOOD GOD
WHERE
LA CAMPANA, LIVERPOOL ST, CITY. (ENTRANCE OFF DOUGLAS LANE)
WHEN
FRI AUG 15, 9PM
HOW MUCH
$10 ENTRY / $5 MEMBERS
Note to you. If you do not wear:
a) blue jeans and white tee
b) white tee and blue jeans
The Good God will not let you pass. At La Campana this Friday, all men and women are dressed equal then made to dance like Catalans fuelled by $10 jugs of Sangria. - NS
Event: DJs
Stimulus: S
Keywords: City, La Campana, Good God
Misshapes
WHAT
MISSHAPES
WHERE
SLIDE, 41 OXFORD ST, DARLINGHURST
WHEN
FRI AUG 15, 8PM
HOW MUCH
$15 + B/F HERE
Some people are so trendy it's unbelievable. We suspect they were born with Wayfarers and mini sleeves. The Misshapes were most probably spinning toytables while the rest of us were eating crayons. Now, their average weekend involves playing Aggy's birthday, Lollapalooza and mixing runways for Dior Homme. For some, their scene is the epitome of cool. For others...the equivalent of water torture. That aside, the trio have talent. They're about music, parties and if you're in the mood, riotous fun. This week they take the floor to launch issue 14 of PEDESTRIAN. - NS
Event: Bands
Stimulus: A
Keywords: Pedestrian, The Misshapes
Club Mod
WHAT
CLUB MOD
WHERE
THE FORUM, CNR BENT ST & ERROL FLYNN BLVD, MOORE PARK
WHEN
SAT AUG 16, 9PM
HOW MUCH
$25 + B/F HERE
WIN
WIN ONE OF THREE DOUBLE PASSES. TO ENTER EMAIL WIN@TWOTHOUSAND.COM.AU WITH THE SUBJECT LINE 'THE WHO DID PUT THE MOD IN MODERATION?'. SUBSCRIBER ONLY ENTRY. NOT A SUBSCRIBER? SIGN UP HERE.
Has anyone noticed how close Modular is to conquering the world? Yeah, us too. From the Mod Store's Mod-tastic get up, to the artists from an ever-expanding stable of Modular People and their Mod-tabulous events. They definitely don't put the Mod in moderation, so by all means continue crafting a new tin foil helmet. The latest addition to Modular's cache of tricks is Club Mod - another party you know you'll have to be at on account of LadyHawke, Van She and Tame Impala. We reckon this new world order might go alright - when their domination is complete just think of the proliferation of good looking people with asymmetrical haircuts. Hang on a minute... - JG
Event: Party
Stimulus: E
Paisley Palace
WHAT
PAISLEY PALACE
WHERE
LOUIE'S, 34 MURRAY ST, MARRICKVILLE
WHEN
SAT AUG 16, 7PM
HOW MUCH
$8 PRESALE FROM CREAM ON CROWN OR CREAM ON KING
$10 ON THE DOOR
We've made it. All the way back to '60s. The Paisley Palace promises a mind-bending excursion through the most obscure psychedelic obscurities Sydney has to offer (we're assuming these aren't chemically based). They are however, vintage psych from The Dolly Rocker Movement, something laid back from The Laurels and an intoxicatingly obnoxious blend of punk psych from the Straight Arrows. This is definitely not a fabric sale. - GK
Event: Bands
Stimulus: A
Keywords: Marrickville, Psych
Beach House
WHAT
BEACH HOUSE
WHERE
THE HOPETOUN, CNR FITZROY & BOURKE ST, SURRY HILLS
WHEN
WED AUG 20 & THUR AUG 21, 8PM¨
HOW MUCH
$25 + B/F HERE
WIN
A COPY OF THE BEACH HOUSE CD DEVOTION AND A DOUBLE PASS TO THE THURSDAY NIGHT SHOW. TO ENTER EMAIL WIN@TWOTHOUSAND.COM.AU WITH THE SUBJECT LINE ‘HOPELESSLY DEVOTED'. SUBSCRIBER ONLY ENTRY. SIGN UP HERE
Beach House was formed in 2006 by Baltimore-based Victoria Legrand and Alex Scally. They are the musical equivalent of a punch-fuelled prom... with a slice of CARRIE. Theirs is a melody of sequins, cake and a sheen of taffeta - underpinned by something more sinister. If you like what Air did for THE VIRGIN SUICIDES, then you'll understand Beach House. The duo are bringing their dreampop sound to Sydney for the first time, and we're lucky enough to get two shows, both booked by the Hopetoun Hotel. Supported by Bachelorette (NZ). - KB
Event: Bands
Stimulus: W
Keywords: Bands, Surry Hills, Hopetoun, Beach House
A mood-disordered green hairy homeless person hanging out with a gay worm, a bird who lives in a vacant lot in Harlem, hallucinating that his best friend is a woolly mammoth, children going home with a strange man named Bob for "milk and cookies." A monster smoking a pipe while hosting a TV show - then eating the pipe. Such depravities we were subjected to as children - no wonder we're destroying Western civilization.
But there's no cure quite like a hair of the dog. That's why Madman are giving us SESAME STREET: OLD SCHOOL. A three-DVD box set featuring the adults-only seventh layer of hell broadcast between 1969 and 1974. Brought to you by the letter R and the number 666. Thanks to Madman, we have one set to give away. To enter, just answer the following question...
This week's question:
1 2 3 FOUR 5, 6 7 8 NINE 10...
a) Satan
b) Eleven tweeeeeelve
c) People in your neighbourhood
d) Cookie cookie cookie starts with C
Send the answer, your name and postal address to win@twothousand.com.au. Winners will be notified by email. Subscriber-only entry. Not a subscriber? No sweat. Sign up here.
TwoThousand is a weekly snapshot of Sydney's subculture, fired by email into the loving arms of people who realise that the best things in life are often hard to find. It is compiled by an amorphous gaggle of writers, stylists, designers and photographers who all like huddling under that big umbrella we call creativity. Without editorial independence TwoThousand has nothing. All editorial you read is featured because it's worth it - not because it's paid for.
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